‘Hey Anger! How you been, girl? Petty, shameless, and basic? Cool! Glad to hear things are still the same!’
Isn’t anger such a basic bitch of an emotion though? And I should know: I’m proud to say I’ve been profoundly angry several thousand (if not million) times in my life, because I can be insecure and fragile and sensitive. Personally, I’ve been wrong so many times, even the most sophisticated algorithms couldn’t keep track. But there’ve been just as many times when I was so wrong, and yet somehow felt so right. Does that make sense? Honestly, I don’t feel great about hurting people. I mean, don’t get me wrong, if you come for me, I will destroy you like Pompeii and Bill Cosby’s legacy combined, but it doesn’t feel good. Yeah. You know what i mean.
It’s been a calm day thus far. I was on my way home from a local youth fest and suddenly this weathered-looking blonde woman with 2009-era Kate Gosselin highlights in a beat-up SUV with Florida/NRA stickers cut us off quite aggressively. Naturally, we honked because she almost hit my car, and in response, this classy, genteel woman had the nerve to give me and my driver the finger.
I guess something sinister took over me after that.
It was like the “The Conjuring: Ghy Road Rage,” , i instructed my driver to follow her to grave and we angrily began following this woman for several blocks, haunting her every move, hoping to pull up next to her just so i could say something bitchy and life-ruining. I never got the opportunity though. After about 10 blocks, I GOT MY LIFE and maybe,my mind as well. My driver said we lost her.
I reached home feeling dejected. Because i knew my reaction was indisputably, objectively incorrect. Reactions like this, going for the jugular during fights can sometimes feel like the right thing to do because it feels like you’re winning, but you’re actually Not Winning. That’s just an ephemeral feeling. Like a boomerang-Eddie Murphy, you’re actually spinning all that negativity right back into your life, and you’re just building up bad karma points, and eventually those points will “cha-ching” right up and come back to you. So if you must argue, just do so fairly and squarely, and try your best to keep it like Runyon Canyon Inspiration Point above board and like Real Housewife of Atlanta, Kandi Burruss once sang, “fly above.”
In conclusion, it’s okay to be wrong and occasionally feel right about it, as long as you recognize that you’re actually wrong and being right isn’t always right.