1. Why do i want to write?
2. What do i want to write?
3. What’s getting in my way?
Gosh! This isn’t happening…just ” not happening ”. I cannot even commit to writing fifteen minutes a day. There are people who have full-time jobs, families, and other responsibilities but they can seem to get tons done. In fact, they are like writing machines cranking out book after book. Then there are people who have been working on their one book for ten years. But guess what? They all have the same 24 hours that you and I have a day. So, what’s blocking my way? Let’s evaluate.
1. I want to write but i also want to be heard.
2. I write for a while but then i get an idea for something else.
3. I spend my time on that something else because i think it will be a quick fix to get what i want.
4. I spin my wheels for a while on that something else and it doesn’t pan out.
5. I go back to writing but get down on myself because i haven’t made much progress.
6. I take a writing course hoping it will help motivate me to write more.
7. I love the course but it takes time away from writing.
8. I see something else shiny and wonderful that i want, so i run after that.
9. I realize that the shiny, wonderful thing is just crap.
10. I go back to writing and get down on myself again because i haven’t made any progress.
Wince. Moan. Holler. See above. I am on a self sabotaging mission of sorts. A known writer recently roared out at a seminar asking lesser mortals like us to ”be open”. It’s easy for teachers to say, “Be open.” Be open to what life is dishing out for you. Be open to the pain. Be open to what’s possible. Be open to other ways of seeing things. Be open and keep writing. It sounds easy. But it feels impossible. In the face of pain, or subtle fear, or the disorientation that change can bring, being open is anything but easy.
Am i afraid? Yes. Am i willing to give up? No. I am afraid but i am going to do this. I want what’s on the other side. I have done this before and i can do it again. I am willing to open. And i shall never stop writing come what may. This i declare. Affirm. Announce.
And from a ‘not so’ distant corner i hear a voice…..
” Trust. Lean back. Have faith. ”