Recapitulating the past can provide a lot of comfort and confirmation. We can work out our family of origin issues, and neuroses, and past life traumas with our shrink or our shaman. We can talk talk talk it out all day long (I know, I’ve done it). We can trace the cause of your wounds and why we’re so stuck. But at some point, eventually, who cares WHY we’re stuck.
As the saying goes, “Who cares why the elephant is standing on your foot? Just get him off.”
Too much analysis can create paralysis. This morning i did a little exercise of emptying the trash by deleting messages in my inbox. They have been a cause of confusion, pain, misunderstandings, anger, frustration, all leading to depression. Some might call it blatant disregard! Relished irresponsibility! Nasty girl hittin’ DELETE!
Clearly, nasty is a relative term. Maybe i was tired of being my own version of good . Because I’ve been good. Let me tell you. I’ve meditated. I’ve prayed. I’ve cleared my chakras and my ancestral ties. I’ve sent positive thoughts, white light, and handwritten thank you notes. And I have purified…my oh my, have I purified. I got rid of my microwave. I feng shui’d my shit into a transcendental temple. You see, I am a pro at better-fying.
I lust for my God. I want to throw my legs over light rays of consciousness and ride. So let’s not talk about our pasts, let’s not walk that lane. I am here to create my future and the past has little bearing on where i want to go. Dead parents. Unrequited love. I am little tired of my own story. Time to move forward.
Sometimes you can’t see why you were stuck until after you get unstuck. Hindsight and high-sight solves a lot of mysteries. In the mean time, you’ve got a new story to write, and it looks nothing like your past.