Thank you!

Hi there!

Long time huh!

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Warning to all readers (or some of the readers … or readers who are picky at least), this post is sure to be full of errors, both spelling and grammatical.

Firstly because I’m typing on my iPad using PAGES and for some reason there is no autocorrect. Or if there is autocorrect I don’t know how to turn it on. Or even if it exists … but NO matter.

Secondly, because i’m really, really tired from a) the weekend and b) never-ending paperworks and C)  son’s exams and d) did you notice that C was capitalized??? I don’t know why and e) i’ve been nice for days and i really need to be NOT NICE!

Past few weeks have been amusing,troubling….bizarre! I am usually an excellent character ( atleast i think i am ), purely female in my brain chemistry, easy-going, fun-loving, forgiving…anybody screws up and i’m always like ”its alright” types ( you must possess high karma points to be getting that from me though ). And that’s half of what i am. The other half is uncanny, mysterious, preternatural, eerie…all of which means the same thing ”WEIRD”!  Well, a lot of performance goes on in everyday life…..we are all living in an age of performers, ain’t we? So,don’t you dare single me out!

In the past disappearing weeks i kind of entered a shell, got little impulsive and reckless, drank a lot of wine, did a bit of psychological profiling….MRI SCANS of few things to be precise. Will share one at a time. First i decided to do a little ”then and now” exercise in regard to my writing….just for the heck of it,maybe to see how far i have come. I went through my old pages…and there i was surprised…humbled!

I SUCKED!

The choice of words were effing horrible, the compositions lacked finesse and the required adroitness. The style had no panache and virtuosity. I basically had no clue what i was doing. And this was not very long ago. The funny thing, though, is that I received so much praise and encouragement from family on those first articles. I remember setting up a slideshow to show off my first articles with my gracious family members,friends, and they all ooh-ed and ahh-ed and told me how beautiful the articles were and how much potential I had. I was absolutely beaming and so proud of myself. And now I look back at those pieces and basically want to scratch my eyeballs out.

But like I said, it’s so, so humbling. It’s easy to forget our beginnings. It’s easy to forget that we all start somewhere, and it’s not at a place of perfection. It’s a place of amateur fumbling, guessing, making all the wrong choices, making mistakes, displaying our weaknesses. And constantly pushing to learn, grow, and get better. That’s the key.

I am so guilty of judging beginners too harshly, and this little “exercise” pushed me right back in my place. If friends and family had been completely honest with me instead of so damn encouraging, I would probably not be where I am today. I would have shriveled up into a little ball of shame and embarrassment and lack of confidence in my amateur abilities, and I never would have grown. But the wonderful, kind, uplifting people in my life saw a glimmer of talent in me, and more importantly passion for the work, and they grasped on to that and propelled me forward with their kindness and words of affirmation.

And we all need to do the same. When someone in our life is just beginning something, even if we know better and know they suck right now, it’s our job to lift them up, not tear them down. Because everyone starts somewhere, and it’s not always very pretty. In two more years, I bet I’ll look back at my work now and notice all the flaws, the things I hadn’t learned yet, the things I could have done better. But right now, wherever we are in our journey, it’s important to be proud of what we’re doing, how far we’ve come, and how much we’ve learned. Your only real competitor is the person you used to be.

Thank you!

 

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7 thoughts on “Thank you!

  1. “Your only real competitor is the person you used to be.”
    Thank You so much for these persuading words. I need to be pushed. This is ONE !!!

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  2. Dear Tony, a wise man had once opined that if you want to know who you are do not ask..act! Our actions will delineate and define us,we have to keep improving,keep marching…
    Fight yourself,beat yourself,find yourself!

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  3. I came to this blog just to say this :—-> ” You are a divine beauty, ma’am. Nothing less than a goddess . I would daresay,you are the Greek goddess of beauty, Aphrodite ” 🙂
    —–Your lifelong admirer!!!!!
    PS: my comment might seem out of context here, but I can’t comment on your posts in FB. thats why……

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    • Hi there….thank you so much…you seem well read and you write pretty well too, the comment was little overwhelming but you have chosen the words and framed your thoughts with care and conviction. I would suggest you to write….Good luck!

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      • Thank you for the response , ma’am. 🙂
        If you felt my words to be “well chosen” , it was because they were written with a well-meant intent and most importantly, with an honest mindset.
        Each word/metaphor I used to appreciate/describe your exquisite beauty, Ma’am, came from inside me spontaneously (with objectivity) , without any pretence or ulterior motive (to gain something).
        I believe in being honest to myself when I express my thoughts. Thats all.
        Once again, thank you Ma’am, for the reply.
        Have a good day.
        –—–Your lifelong admirer!!!!!

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  4. Ok well I cannot top the last person’s comment. Ha! I found you at NaBlopomo and came by to visit. While I am not a newbie I might as well be, having lost my entire site, name, everything because of a financial setback brought about by a car wreck. So finally found my way back to blogging, discovered all of my 7 years of blogging before wiped clean in the loss, and started all over from scratch. I jumped in to build back up the community and togetherness I so desperately missed in the 7 months I was gone. So HI! Nice to meet ya and hope to see much more of your writing this month!

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  5. My dear Angel, thanks for visiting my blog…i am pretty new out here and i am enjoying every bit of it..i am so sorry for the setbacks you had to go through,but then,you are a strong woman aren’t you? And you have faced the odds with courage and grace,makes you a fighter and a winner…and somebody i feel blessed to connect with…keep in touch,hugs!!

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