I have re-written this post about five times now.. Trying to figure out how and where to start. Sometimes posts from the heart are so easy to write and other times it takes time. It takes time to just quiet your mind and everything around you and let your heart speak. Today is definitely one of those.
There have been so many thoughts running through my mind lately. Plans for our future. Goals for our family. Reasons why I blog. I’ve just been feeling unsettled. I keep coming back to this idea of a “simple life” but I am not quite sure what that is yet. I know I feel most at peace when I am away from my phone, this computer, enjoying life with my family. We sat the other night in the darkness and calmness of the hills, in front of the warmth and crackle of a fire. We were hand in hand talking about our day and being all together as one and I thought, “how do I take this home with me?” I don’t want to leave this moment. It felt simple. It felt real. It felt like what I have been longing for. I don’t think the answer though is to sell everything, swear off technology and move to the woods. It sounds appealing but a little unrealistic for us. So how DO you find this simpleness right where you’re at? I don’t have the answer yet, but I do have some thoughts on how I hope to work towards that. I’ve been pulling away a bit from social media. I see the fun in it, I do, but at this stage in life I just don’t need the distraction. I’ve cleared out my Feedly account as well. Left only who is uplifting, inspiring and who I truly love. And really, this is where the internet can shine in my opinion. I love reading blogs with heart, worth and something to say. I have been reading books, Notes from a Blue Bike: The Art of Living Intentionally in a Chaotic World by Tsh Oxenreider, my last read, wonderful, it really stands out. I love what she has to say so far.
“Living slower requires living with intention. And to live with intention means to make little daily choices that resonate deeply in our souls-that make sense deep in our being and ring true.”
I want to live with intention and i don’t want to waste moments. I don’t want to be jealous of what others have or achieved. I don’t want to multitask my way to the top while pushing everything else that matters to the side. I want to be present in the tiny moments with myself and my family. Being who and what i am today and now is precious, priceless. So today, i shall swing on a swing and won’t count down the minutes till i have to leave to my next thing. I won’t check my phone and worry about my blog stats. I won’t think about the unread messages in my inbox, they can wait. I’ll watch the guys play, see them talk their talk and not wanting to know what their guy discussion is all about. I shall not think about the past. I shall not worry my future. I am Arunima, i am 37 and i am alive. That’s enough. Should be.
The breeze feels warm now and fills my heart with gratitude. I pray that God helps me find my way and lead us into more of this simple moments. I think i should start with thankfulness for all i have, today and now, the moments i am living now and the ones i walked out of, thanking the ones who loved for pushing me forward, thanking the ones who caused pain for teaching the lessons i would not have learnt otherwise. Blessings and lessons.
So. I don’t really have an ending to this post. It was more like a stream of conscience of what i’ve been thinking about/working on lately. My boy is going to have a sleepover with his grandparents this weekend and hub and i have big plans of cleaning out/simplifying the house. Garage sale here we come!